Whether you like it or not, nothing can prepare the world for the tidal wave of dollar store hairspray, synthetic lipstick, and nauseating color schemes that’s coming in 2016.
On February 26, Los Angeles mock-rock band Steel Panther will drop their acoustic record, Live From Lexxi’s Mom’s Garage. At its core, Steep Panther is Ralph Michael Saenz aka Michael Starr (vocals) who resembles a younger and much sassier David Lee Roth, Russ Parrish aka Satchel (guitar) whose tremolo has been known to make young girls cry and wet their panties, Darren Leader aka Stix Zadinia (drums) who plays to the beat of his own drum (and hands), and the ever-so important Lexxi Foxx aka Travis Haley (bass) who proves you can make loads of money playing a solid E or A string.
SF Weekly caught up with group’s singer, Starr, during his downtime from touring, while doing one of his many chores at his mother’s house. “My mom is making me clean the garage right now,” said Starr. “If I want to stay here, I gotta do my part.”
When pressed for song titles and a little more info (even though it’s readily available on the website unbeknownst to the band members), it was clear that the band’s new musical offering was being careful guarded like it was the Glam Bible. “It’s not because I hate you or anything like that,” Starr told me. “You actually sound pretty cool. But I can’t give you any more info since we’re not telling anyone anything. We’re looking to release the new record everywhere simultaneously.”
The secret to the band’s success, however, has been their image portrayed in their videos. And while many of the outlets that existed back in glam rock’s heyday are not playing much music these days, YouTube is still a great source for premiering and viewing the band’s larger-than life videos. Thankfully, despite the rising costs of stage outfits (of which Steel Panther has many), videos are now cheaper than ever to make. “Looking back, it’s crazy to see what we spent on videos, man,” Starr said. “It cost us $250,000 to make “Community Property,” and “Death to All But Metal” was another not-so-cool $180,000. Today, unless you’re selling million and millions of records, which we don’t just yet, that doesn’t work, does it? Now with technology, you can make videos on your Mac since the process is pretty simple…point and shoot.”
As funny (and cool) as Steel Panther is, the band still gets help making their videos. “We let our marketing guy know when we want to do a video,” said Starr. “After that, writers will submit treatments, and we just choose the best from those. We collaborate with all kinds of people since it’s the best way to expand ourselves and our stage personas.”
Costumes are important to Steel Panther and are as integral to their success as much as (if not more than) their own musical equipment. “Costumes are really, really, really, really, really really important for us. Once we got signed, we wore everything we had for years from our cover band (Metal Skool),” he said. “We’re getting our clothes now from Stephanie at Metal Threads in Australia who makes some really good, high quality stuff.”
Of course, these fancy and flashy wares don’t come cheap. “Clothes are probably one of our biggest expenses these days since pants can range from $100 to $600, and shirts cost anywhere from $80 to $300” said Starr. “It really depends on what you put on the clothes that makes them stand out, like tassels or sequins or whatever. It’s like guitar strings: You need ’em and you gotta have ’em.”
Here’s a list of some of Steel Panther’s best and most lavish, not to mention lewd, music videos for you to check out before their big soiree at the Regency Ballroom on Saturday, Jan. 16.
“Fat Girl” from Hole Patrol (2003)
“This was the video that got us signed” said Starr. “We were still called Metal Skool.” It’s also probably not the best video to play for your overweight friends who can’t stay on a diet for more than a week.
“Community Property” from Feel the Steel (2009)
Sharing is caring. Whether or not you have a venereal disease is not important. Steel Panther wants to share its love with anyone and everyone.
“Death To All But Metal” from Feel the Steel (2009)
If you don’t like metal, you best steer clear of this one. One of Steel Panther’s heaviest songs features some thoughtful lyrics like “Kill those fucking fuckheads who program MTV. They can suck my ass with all the record companies.”
“If You Really Really Love Me” from Balls Out (2011)
“I think all the videos are great and exciting and everyone has all their personality. However, there’s some fan videos that have my belly sticking out that I’d rather not have out there.” said Starr when asked about the band’s show recording policy. This one’s a ballad about those who gave all for their partner with nothing in return.
“Pussywhipped” from All You Can Eat (2014)
While the content of this video may leave much to be desired by the male gender – scrotums getting beat with a baseball bat – this song resonated with many hot chicks and now-drummer Stix Zadinia needs two bodyguards to fend off the lines of backstage trollops at their shows.
“Gloryhole” from All You Can Eat (2014)
Offended easily? Never rubbed one out in the bathroom stall? This one would never have gotten played on MTV in its unedited format. Thanks to social media, we now know there are 3,613,654 perverts who’ve watched the video (and climbing).
Steel Panther plays with Magnetico at 9 p.m. on Saturday, Jan. 16 at the Regency Ballroom. Tickets are $30 advance and $32 at the door. www.theregencyballroom.com.
(SF Weekly)